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Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating.
This column's topic: Was Joe Monge right or wrong about his dating money concerns?
September, 2003
Readers sound off about money concerns Man who broke relationship over tight purse strings finds
both support and criticism
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers
In last week's column, Joe, 50, of Dana Point broke up with his 46-year-old girlfriend because she wouldn't share expenses and wouldn't share in the driving
between their homes. Readers responded in droves, the majority of them women.
Barbara, San Juan Capistrano, a 53-year-old widow, e-mailed, "Decent guys appear to be as few as Angel World Series pennants.
Joe sounds like a decent upright guy who was being taken advantage of; the kind of guy a lot of single women would like to meet and be willing to share expenses with.
"
Robin, 47, Buena Park, said, "Perhaps Joe's girlfriend doesn't listen wisely. There are a lot of women who feel the man should pay for everything
and do all the driving. Fortunately, there are also women out there who are more in tune with the times."
Joe received advice from Mary, Costa Mesa: "Be up front at the beginning of a relationship about what you will and won't compromise and you
might find that we are very receptive to your honesty and being open and up-front. If you run across someone not open to discussing these things? leave by the closest door.
"
Former Orange County resident John e-mailed from Washington, D.C., "The weird accommodation with her ex-husband and priority
of casino over Joe seems that the outcome was meant to be."
Julie, Fort Atkinson, Wis., e-mailed, "In my singles group, men say they're offended if a woman offers to pay; they like to be 'gentlemen'
and 'do the right thing.' Once you're committed to only going out with each other, I think financial and other areas (driving) should be split more evenly." Joe got bashed
by three women.
Mickie, Newport Beach, said, "This guy seems like a real tight wad. I don't mind sharing expenses, but don't make it a mandatory part of
the relationship, please."
Nancy, San Clemente, shared, "Wake up! Quit whining. I went on a cruise with a gentleman friend and got his check "before
" I booked the cruise."
Two readers felt Joe should have discussed the situation early in his relationship. Ann Jordan, Huntington Beach, said, "Joe should have
talked to her as issues came up. We cannot be so enamored of being in a relationship that we sell ourselves out."
Patrick, Laguna Beach, e-mailed, "It's best to be honest on the front end what expectations are."
Dolores, Temecula, was happy for Joe. "Congratulations for finally getting smart and expecting better for yourself."
As for Joe, he's moving on to other dating avenues. Joe wrote, "I have joined four Internet personals sites. I've gotten 13 matches." Give Joe credit.
Not many single men have the guts to air their dating laundry to the readers. If more men would speak up, get involved and be more communicative -- as Joe was -- the
singles situation around here would dramatically improve.
READER COMMENTS
Marcia, Laguna Beach, "Regarding the guy who 'found his way into her e-mail account,' (column two weeks ago), he wasn't such a
good catch either if he was looking at her e-mail account. That's a giant breach of trust and very unethical."
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