Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and
senior dating. This column's topic: A letter to Victoria, who wrote an e-mail saying she wasn't happy with a column I had written about dating, romance and middle
Letter to Victoria
This is a copy of a letter I sent to Victoria, a reader, in response to her e-mail about a column that ran in the newspaper.
Wow, a reader who has followed my columns for so many years, I'm impressed. I'll attempt to answer your questions.
You're right, when I first started writing this column I was angry (my editors loved it, they thought it was raw, personal, and full of pathos). I wasn't angry about
my marriage breaking up, but angry at my wife (of six years) who chose--instead of discussing her discontentment and plan to leave--to clean out the house on Xmas Eve,
without warning and leave on the sneak.
When women or men get treated like that, they have a right to be angry. We hear about that type of behavior all to often. For example, "My husband of 35 years
ran off with his secretary" type of stuff.
You're right again, that column was aimed more at women's attitudes than men's. Why? Eighty-percent of the people who respond to my columns are women.
In the "Some people won't freshen their thinking" paragraph, I started out intending to address both sexes. And then I flopped to women only when I said, "they
won't call a man for a date." That was poorly done, like changing tenses in the same paragraph, or changing from singular to plural in the same paragraph. It confuses the
reader, and was inadequate journalism on my part.
My editor expects me to know better, and doesn't have time to edit my material for syntax errors; he only reviews content to be sure we don't exceed the
boundaries of good taste.
It's a miracle he has the time to publish a newspaper week after week. And he does a damn good job of it. That paragraph, however, wouldn't have escaped
the editor's eye in the Register itself, at least I hope not.
Regarding your request to hear about men, tune into my next Accent Section column in the Friday, Feb. 16, Register. I'm submitting a piece on what qualities
six single men want in their potential mates.
I'm glad you're surviving living alone. I know it's tough. My hope is that the column will help, in its own little refreshing way, people like us who are single
again at middle age and older.
With the 75-million baby boomers turning age 50 at the rate of an estimated one in every 34 seconds, in my opinion, the United States is on the verge of a
middle-aged single and loneliness epidemic. People like you and me merely represent the tip of the iceberg.
By sharing information, perhaps those of us going through the new challenges of being single later in life will help the multitudes about to step into our--for
the most part--unwanted fraternity. We didn't stand in line to get into this club.
So, no, Victoria, your directness didn't offend me. It tapped into my reservoir of topics that need to be said. It's you readers, after all, that make this column.
Onward and upward together.