Some senior singles say they look younger than my age
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
I've heard singles say this so often it's almost comical: "I look younger than my age."
You'd think looking younger would be an asset in dating after 50. But, some people who say they look younger than their age claim it's a problem.
Annette, Southern California, wrote, "I have been single for 5 years. I had one relationship which I regret ending and have found it very difficult to meet anyone I am interested in who is interested in me.
I am financially successful, have a great career, have raised 5 amazing children...the difficult thing is I am 59 but look 10 years younger (always have) so I am interested in younger men. This makes internet dating very difficult."
It's not just women who have this "look-younger" problem.
Jim wrote, "I am 76 and in excellent health. Moved to the Orlando area 18 months ago to avoid St. Louis winters and to work on my golf game. All is going well.
"My issue is I am not attracted to women much over 60. I easily pass for 10 years younger.
"So what I do on Plenty of Fish, Senior People Meet/Our Time, OK Cupid dating sites is list my age as 66, along with information and pictures. Then, when I meet a mutually attractive woman, I tell her my true age before we become intimate. Sometimes it leads to her seeing me as a liar and ending the relationship.
In effect, Jim wants to date women at least 16-years-younger.
Jim continued, "My experience is that women are interested in dating within a biological age and if you are not loaded, you can't get around that. I am not loaded, just financially sound. Listing my age as 76 almost guarantees no interest."
Looking younger than one's age must be a difficult problem to have. Let's look at the options that Annette and Jim have. It is important to note that I am not picking on Annette and Jim, they just happened to write me recently on the "I-look-younger-than-my-age topic." Over the years, I've had more than 200 people write with the same problem.
In Annette's case, she says looking younger is the reason she's always been interested in younger men. And yet, younger men aren't interested in her.
She has two choices: (1) Make herself look older -or- (2) Change her search strategy, and be open to dating men closer to her age, or heaven forbid, men even older. Think how those older men would feel when finding a young-looking woman who is financially sound. She'd be a prize to them and no longer alone. Annette's problem solved.
In Jim's case, listing his age as 10-years-younger is at least getting him dates. And while he is fibbing about his age, he's being honest with the ladies before getting them into the sack, a benevolent gesture.
Maybe Jim should take a lesson from my friend Dave, who attends the Meet and Greet gatherings at my deli.
Dave was on a date with a woman considerably younger who was being a bit standoffish. She said, "I own several homes in Orange County." Dave replied, "Don't worry lady, I'm loaded." She drew much closer to him after that. He's 92; she's in her early 70s.
For Jim, since he's already fibbed about his age by 10 years, perhaps another small fib might not hurt in securing a woman at least 16 years younger. He should tell her what Dave told his date, "I'm loaded." By the time she finds out he's not loaded--and not 66--the hook may be set because she may realize he's a good guy, and a good golfer. And, while not loaded, at least he is financially comfortable.
Lesson today for all of our Champs who think looking 10 years younger than their age is a problem: make it less of a problem. Screw the wrinkles. Seek a mate closer to your age who has all of the important qualities that truly matter: kindness, consideration, caring, loving, inner beauty, thoughtfulness, a good listener, interesting, and above all, one who loves and appreciates you.
When I came to my senses and did that 15 years ago, I met a perfect woman and perfect match for me. Oh, she's a younger woman--but only by a few months.
Cherish life and what you have.