In online dating, chemistry cannot be determined without meeting in person. For seniors, background checks are necessary before meeting.
January 22, 2017
By its nature, Internet dating creates long-distance issues. How do you know the character and identity of the person you're corresponding with from afar? Champ Patty is infatuated with a man she's met online. He's handsome, charming, intelligent and has a sense of humor. He wants her to visit him first. Should she?
An email exchange between Patty, age 61, and me follows:
Patty: "I thought I knew all about Internet dating but I've come across a situation where your opinion would help me make a decision.
Eight men vent about the pro’s and con’s of senior internet dating and the single senior man’s point of view
December 01, 2016
Here's what eight single men have to say (remember, this was published in 2007. Interesting to see how things have and have not changed in the senior internet dating field.
Dave, widower, Michigan, says he met three women in person he found on Match.com. "Each lied about their age by at least ten years. I complained to Match.com. They said, 'We are sorry about the dishonesty in age and posted pictures. It is our goal to present only factual profile information.' My experience has been very disconcerting indeed!"
George, San Francisco Bay Area, a recent widower, said. 'Dostoevsky said: 'Love is a true battlefield - no one comes back without wounds.'
Children help parents with Internet dating. Internet dating with no computer – children help parents with internet dating.
December 01, 2016
Using the Internet to meet potential mates can be overwhelming for older singles, particularly those intimidated by computers. But their computer-savvy kids are starting to help them.
Lori, Rancho Santa Margarita, California, wrote, "I was browsing the web this morning in hopes of finding more information on seniors and dating for my mom, who is 73. I came across your newspaper article from May 2007 in the OC Register and wanted your opinion.
In internet dating, it is important to meet face to face soon. And never fall in love with a stranger.
December 01, 2016
I often hear from women who've met some guy online and who've created an unrealistic image of him before meeting him in person. Some tell me they've even fallen in love with that person (image). When I tell them to cool their jets and get real, they think I'm being negative. Granted, some of these based-on-an-image relationships work out. The people meet and it's love at first sight.
But most don't. Today's newsletter is an example of one that didn't. You may recall the newsletter from May 15, which was titled, "Email etiquette: Behind the doctor's mask."
Ashamed of Internet dating? Not in 2016. Internet dating is a necessity for lonely singles, especially people living in remote areas.
December 01, 2016
This column was originally written in 2008. The stigma of meeting on the Internet is almost non-existent in 2016.
I am writing a book on how couples age 50+ met. Most couples who've found love in their later years are eager to share their stories. And these days, often the way they met is on the Internet.
But some who met on the Internet don't want that fact to be known. Recently, at a post-wedding dinner, the groom was addressing the guests and said they met via a business encounter. My partner and I were surprised because we know them well and knew they met on Match.com.
Internet dating for senior women can be frustrating. But, it only takes one person who is compatible, interested and willing to share.
October 31, 2016
After reading personal dating ads on Craig's List and in her local newspapers, Karen--not her true name--decided to post a personal ad to see what kind of responses she'd get. She's in her late 60s and lives near a large, northern Midwestern city.
Her ad read: "Looking for active guy (over 60+) who isn't dating his motorcycle, old restored car, or his hunting/fishing shack.
"I am very active, enjoy romance, love, and having fun, work 35+ hours a week, but have time to enjoy a gentleman who would like to cook dinner together, and then cuddle and watch a dvd with a glass of wine. Care to join me?"
Senior blind dates are a challenge
October 16, 2016
I admire single women age 50-plus who make the effort to get out and meet men instead of complaining about the lack of available men. This results in senior first dates and senior blind dates. Always challenges.
While there are lots of things to do and places to go in most cities where our Champs live that might lead to meeting a potential mate, using the Internet to meet men improves a woman's chances of finding a compatible match.
The internet is one of the tools that Jacquie, not her true name, uses to meet men. She's 58 and lives in southern California. We decided to not use her true name, "to protect the guilty," Jacquie said with nice humor.
Which Internet dating sites are best for seniors?
October 02, 2016
I'm often asked by Champs which Senior Internet dating sites I recommend. There is no correct answer because everybody has different personalities, tastes, expectations, appearances, website experiences and needs.
Karla, Palm Springs, recommends avoiding the free sites such as Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid: "I wouldn't go to a 'free dating site' again. I feel that if a man or woman is serious about finding a quality mate, they should be willing to pay for it--sort of a 'good faith' thing. Otherwise, the word 'cheap comes to mind." She added that the quality of men on freebee sites is very low. And yet, there are other women who have met decent men on the free sites.
In 2006, senior internet dating was somewhat new. Here are comments from then.
September 17, 2016
From 2006: Internet dating is booming. We hear all sorts of facts and claims tossed around by date matching sites and Internet industry proponents. There are more than 400 matching services and the industry has grown tenfold in the last few years. Statements of success abound. Some sites claim to be the largest, others to have had thousands of marriages as a result of couples meeting on their sites.
But, for singles 50, 60 and 70-plus, is Internet dating all it’s cracked up to be?
On a positive note, the Internet allows older singles to easily reach out across America to meet other singles they wouldn’t have otherwise met. Some have met mates who live or work in the same city. The potential for finding a mate is real.
Internet Dating tips still the same in 2016
August 26, 2016
This Monday, April 24, 2006, Newsday, the prestigious Long Island, NY, newspaper, is featuring an article about Internet dating for seniors. I was contacted by staff writer Pat Burson for my opinions and whether I had any tips on Internet dating.
Here are a few Internet dating tips taken from my book, “Finding Love After 50: How To Begin. Where To Go. What To Do.” (read more about this book in this website’s bookstore). It’s not a complete list, but it covers important aspects of Internet dating.
On Life and Love after 50 Newsletter
August 26, 2016
A few senior internet dating stories from 10 years ago (2006). Not much has changed. Five people provide their Senior Internet Dating Tip.
A woman, 65, living in Santa Fe, NM, emailed that she joined eharmony.com four months ago. “So far, I’ve received five bummer matches but I haven’t given up. I have deduced that perhaps I’m just too intelligent and too liberal for men in New Mexico and Colorado.”
John, Southern Calif., said: “A woman I met on the Internet was reluctant to meet in person. After I gave her my phone number, it took several weeks before she called. Finally, she phoned and invited me to a musical the same night. On such short notice, I knew I hadn’t been her first choice. But, I had nothing planned, so I went anyway.
Internet dating: good, bad, ugly and risky
August 04, 2016
Note from Tom: This article was initially published in 2003. It is interesting to compare 2016 ideas on internet dating to back then.
Meeting a potential mate over the Internet is more popular than ever. Singles in all age groups— even seniors—are checking it out.
Among the most popular sites: Love@aol.com, match.com, matchmaker.com, kiss.com. and JDate.com, for Jewish singles. Note: Eharmony wasn’t even mentioned in 2003 but now is one of the larger and better known sites.