Why do men make excuses why they don’t ask women out again? Readers give advice. Sometimes, “He’s just not that into you.” Senior dating is like ice cream. Dating men is like trying on shoes.
January 22, 2017
Last week, we asked what advice our Champs would give to Gloria who had said that men keep making excuses that they are either going back to their old girlfriends or are choosing another woman over her.
Incredible responses came in. I picked three of the more profound ones.
Jillian said, "Gloria admits that, 'In the past I have been clingy, needy and wanted all of their time, it was a fast exit for some men I dated.'
"I'm sorry to say (as a Psychologist) that one does not just change their entire personality by having some revelation in midlife about why men keep ditching her! It sounds like she is still that way. The answer is, 'He's just not that into you!'
"Relationships are special, and difficult to find. I don't think it's easy to find someone compatible, and with all of the assets I'd like in a man, even if one isn't picky at all! It sounds like Gloria will take anyone that wears pants!
Tips for widow seeking companionship: dance, volunteer, join Parents Without Partners, to overcome companionship aloneness
October 16, 2016
Last week, Linda, a 50-year-old widow of two years, wanted to know what she should do to start getting out of the house. She said, "As much as I will always love my late husband, my children, friends and family will never fill that void and the need for some companionship. Trouble is finding that someone."
A bunch of you responded. Many said you are or have been in situations similar to Linda.
Judith, a former vice president of Parents Without Partners, feels PWP would be a great place for Linda to start: "Once you join your local chapter, you may attend events at any other chapter. Ask, ask, ask. Attend the workshops, the family activities, the adult nights out, the dances, etc.
Conversation openers that work. How to start a conversation with a man. Avoid asking, “What do you do?”
October 16, 2016
You would not think that the words, "Is that yours, dirt bag?" was a one of the most successful conversation openers ever. Believe it or not, that conversation opener worked.
Meeting potential mates is difficult for mature singles. When an opportunity to meet someone presents itself, it's likely a one-time occurrence. Seldom do singles encounter the same stranger a second time, so they need to be assertive at that very moment to improve their chances of establishing a relationship
This applies to women as well as men. But some women are shy and others are at a loss about how to start a conversation with a man.
Finding Love After 50 - Shun Mode
September 18, 2016
For older singles, finding a suitable mate is difficult. When someone desirable comes along, it's natural to want to be with him or her. But what should a senior single do if the response to you is only lukewarm?
Jeff said: "I've been out with a woman four times who lives an hour away. Each time we've had lots of fun. However, when I ask her to get together again, she says she'll have to check her calendar and she's usually available in about two weeks.
Personal hygiene tips for dating seniors. Newcomer to the dating scene shares hygiene tips for seniors.
September 17, 2016
Nancy, a newcomer to the senior dating scene and this newsletter, wrote, “I have recently started to take dance lessons and going out to dance clubs. It’s a lot of fun, but some men seem to have no clue that women are very sensitive to smells and unkempt clothing. This is very important to a first impression, no matter what the gentleman looks like, how well spoken he is or how he dances. Have you addressed the topic of personal hygiene?”
I told Nancy I wrote a column a while ago titled, “Play Musty For Me,” but felt it was time to freshen the topic. Nancy provided her suggestions for men, adding that most of her tips apply to women as well.
Second date caution. Should you allow a new man to pick you up at your home? Avoid dating danger.
September 17, 2016
When we were young, it was considered rude if the boy didn’t pick the girl up at her home when going on a date. But now that we’re dating again and way, way older, that old policy no longer applies.
Should a women allow a man that she has just met come to her house to pick her up? What if he’s a stranger, or perhaps someone she’s only been out with once or twice? Such was the situation with Joan. Senior women need to protect themselves.
Shy senior singles need to be assertive in meeting a mate
September 17, 2016
Singles can improve their chances of meeting a potential mate by introducing themselves to someone desirable they encounter. They need to be mildly assertive (notice, I'm not using the word "aggressive.") These six words could break the ice: “Would you like to have coffee?” When senior singles fail to act, opportunity vanishes, as happened to Jackie.
Jackie was walking past the boy’s clothing section in K-Mart. She noticed a handsome blonde-haired man with his young son. “He walked through the clothing racks and stopped in the aisle as I passed. Standing frozen, he gave me ‘the look’ and softly said hello. I warmly returned his greeting. He didn’t stop me, but he made my day,” Jackie said.
Background Checks on Strangers
September 17, 2016
Background check a must before dating a stranger. Private investigators are the most reliable sources of background checks
“The only sure protection against fraud by someone you are involved with is to look deep into their past BEFORE they look deep into your eyes,” says Rhoda Cook, a spokesperson for CUFF (Citizens United to Find Fugitives), a non-profit company that deals with sweetheart fraud.
When older singles venture out into the dating world, most potential mates they meet are strangers, about whom little or nothing is known. Before becoming romantically involved, singles need to protect themselves by learning as much about the stranger as possible.
In Senior Dating, Protect four things: your heart, health, assets, and drink glass.
August 26, 2016
Many older people who become single are a bit naïve and gullible. It’s understandable, some haven’t had a date with anyone other than their spouse in 30 or 40 years.
Sadly, some fall into unfortunate situations that had they known about beforehand, could have been avoided. As an older single, you need to protect four things when dating again.
First, protect your heart. Perhaps you are lonely and desperately want companionship. You miss sharing and feel empty. You’re vulnerable and can easily let your guard down.
Senior First date conversation tips
August 21, 2016
A woman from Oshkosh, Wis., emailed and said she had just been divorced after a 30-year marriage. "I'm shy," she said, "What do I talk about on a first date?"
Senior dating can be daunting for someone who hasn't had a date in 30 years. I told her to be herself, that most topics of conversation are safe and date-correct.
Others are a turnoff and should be avoided.