On Life and Love after 50 Newsletter
By Tom P Blake Finding Love After 50
A few senior internet dating stories from 10 years ago (2006). Not much has changed. Five people provide their Senior Internet Dating Tip.
A woman, 65, living in Santa Fe, NM, emailed that she joined eharmony.com four months ago. “So far, I’ve received five bummer matches but I haven’t given up. I have deduced that perhaps I’m just too intelligent and too liberal for men in New Mexico and Colorado.”
John, Southern Calif., said: “A woman I met on the Internet was reluctant to meet in person. After I gave her my phone number, it took several weeks before she called. Finally, she phoned and invited me to a musical the same night. On such short notice, I knew I hadn’t been her first choice. But, I had nothing planned, so I went anyway.
When we met, there was instant chemistry. We’ve been seeing each other regularly since.”
Note from Tom: In senior dating, one never knows where or when a potential mate might pop up. That’s why it is important to never give up meeting new people.
For Audrey, Mendham, N.J., a widow of five years after 41 years of marriage, the Internet was the answer, “Started meeting people in the easiest place, the Internet. Followed rules for safe dating, met some married, some singles who misrepresented themselves and others who were nice. Took nothing personally. Met a widower online three years ago who lived near Atlanta.”
Audrey moved to Canton, Ga. “My relocation was incidental, not dependent upon our relationship.” She moved into her own home and lives near her children. She blames her move on the cold winters and cost of living in NJ, but admits having her man-friend nearby helped in her decision.
Karen, Ct., found success online, “I had two divorces and two deaths in the past and felt that life with another was out of the question. When I filled out an Internet personal ad, I was nervous and worded it in such a way that no man would want to meet a person like me—Irish dancing, church, friendship, family and theatre. Gave no sexual info or desires of interest.
“I received one response, a man who lived 20 minutes from me. It took several months of speaking before I agreed to meet; I took an entourage of people along for protection. We’ve been in a loving relationship for three years. I’m glad I took the chance, despite my vulnerability.”
The Internet has helped Alice, Bath, Me., jump-start her dating: “I wanted to have a life again. I had to take the initiative to make it happen. I signed up with two Internet dating services, and started chatting and e-mailing other singles. I meet in public places the first few times. I’ve made friends, men I might not want to date, but good people.
“You can block anyone you choose. It has brought a new spark back into my life, and may eventually lead to meeting that special someone. I don’t play games, men have also been hurt and are also looking for someone special.”
Gale, late 60s, Leicester, NC, found Jack online in upstate New York. She’s a transplanted New Yorker so she and Jack had much in common. Jack visited Gale in North Carolina. “Love bloomed that weekend. We married on Valentine’s Day two years ago. What a beautiful wedding it was,” said Gale.
Update from Tom: Gale had a wonderful marriage. Sadly, her husband passed away a few years later, but the years they had together were very special.
Senior Internet relationships aren’t fail safe. Beth, Birmingham, Al, e-mailed, “I met my second husband online. We didn’t know each well enough when we married. I’m divorced again, back looking on the Internet. Might meet my ‘soul mate’ one day.”
Senior Internet Dating Tip: When meeting strangers, always be careful.
Senior Internet Dating Tip: If someone sounds too good to be true, they likely are. Trust your instincts.
Senior Internet Dating Tip: Meet in a well-lighted place and tell your friends or family with whom you’re meeting and where.
Tina, Long Beach, CA, author, therapist and relationships coach shared her advice. “In my office, I see much pain from Internet dating. It’s a setup to be unrealistic and get your heart broken.
Tina provided a Senior Internet Dating Tip: “Meet the person face-to-face as soon as possible, and get him or her around your friends. If you want a second date, make it a group date. Your friends will find out more in one meeting than you can find out in weeks—it’s hard to ‘con’ a group.”
Should older singles use their computers to meet others? A resounding yes. The Internet can bring people together, particularly those in small cities where there are few singles. But, it should be just one aspect of a single’s overall marketing plan to find a mate. Getting out and networking with people is equally as important.
The success stories described here wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the Internet. If you use it, Senior Internet Dating Tip: be wise, careful and cautious.