Senior sex: sexual predator? It's debatable. A woman says yes. Senior men take issue
Woman's side first
When something doesn’t seem quite right with a new person you’ve met, trust your instincts Marie, who lives on the East Coast, wanted to share her story with the rest of us, hoping to alert Champs (Tom's eNewletter subscribers) of what weird stuff can happen. Marie said, “A man offered to help me one day when I was searching for a special bottle of wine. Then, I occasionally ran into him at the same store. He was taking care of his elderly mother and he hired me to help him with her. He was 54, I was 67. I helped with her for about six months. He paid me but would still hang around while I was there. That was a red flag I should have paid attention to and didn’t. After her passing, he changed and started coming on to me more and more. “I mistakenly thought we were friends, only to find that he wanted to use me. He used the words, ‘Senior Sex Slave.’ I finally came to my senses and got myself out of the situation. It was hard to end it; I had an inner conflict to believe I had been so wrong about him. “I later found out that picking up women was his M.O. and he had done it repeatedly, just for sex. He did not hurt me, but he really disappointed me and sometimes scared me a little. I stopped seeing him and stopped talking to him. “That is why I describe him as a senior pickup artist. I have run into him in other stores since the breakup; he admitted he was there looking to pick up someone. “I want to warn women to be suspicious and not foolish with guys they know nothing about.” I responded to Marie: “Wow, that is a new one. Haven’t heard of that technique. Just curious, was he really taking care of his elderly mom?” Marie, “Yes, he had a wonderful mother. She was very involved in her church. She told me he was wonderful, and how wonderful he was to her. He took excellent care of her and he worked full time. She loved him very much. “He seemed wonderful to me as well at first, until I realized his intentions were totally sexual. I have children and grandchildren that I am very proud of and he had no interest in meeting them. “I felt he was trying to isolate me and I started to feel afraid and knew I had to end the situation. I only want to warn and protect unsuspecting women. I think he is a sexual predator, he also preferred older, shapely women.”
Part 2 – Sexual predator story draws the ire of men - Responses to the above post Last week, I included a woman's story about a man she felt was a senior sexual predator. I got toasted pretty good by our male Champs. Carmen (my high school buddy of 60+ years, lives in Mexico): “Predator isn't the right word. He's just a horny old guy who seems polite and courteous enough and the lady isn't used to being courted.” Fred, “Re: Sexual predator. Me thinks, the lady does protest too much. A 54-year-old man who likes sex, really! A 67-year-old, shapely women who is offended? What's wrong with this picture? “The word, ‘predator’ should be saved for predator. He did nothing criminal, he wanted to get laid, she didn't, end of story. “Women, whine about not meeting men and when they do, they whine. Articles abound on dating. One suggested going where the opposite sex go. For men, that would be food markets, duh! “Personally, I have not considered that, up until now.” Niels, “I don't know what is a bigger load of B.S., the story or your response? I hate to break it to you but there are a lot of 67-year-old women who would love to be propositioned by a 54-year-old man. “He did not touch her or harm her in any way. So, if some disturbed woman comes up with a story on how she was pursued you are going to print it? Nice to see you have joined up with the PC police. Please remove me from your mailing list.” Note from Tom: I did not remove him from the mailing list—he removed himself before I could get to it. John, “I'm quite intrigued by the woman who wrote about the "sexual predator." Let's break it down: “1. She met the man at a store, where he offered to help her - good heavens - lock him up! I have ALWAYS read that a man should never approach a woman in a store, especially to help a woman he's attracted to! 2. He asked her to help take care of his elderly mother, which she did. Whoa! She's obviously leaving out QUITE a bit here, and I highly suspect the bit she's leaving out is how SHE was attracted to him, and likely encouraged him somewhat. 3. He paid her for the help, as agreed upon, and ‘hung around when she was there.’ Again - lock him up - what a dastardly man to be attracted to her, and desire her company! 4. She ‘thought they were friends’ (I'm sure he did too), only to find out that he desired sex. Hell's bells - a man who established what sounds like a long-term friendly relationship with a woman finally lets her know he's interested in sex - lock him up! She refused, and; please note - he did not press the issue, force himself on her, or stalk her after she cut off contact. Lock him up! 5. Yes, the ‘sex slave’ term sounds creepy to me, but people are what they are. Note that one of the most successful women’s books of recent time is 50 Shades of Grey, which has allowed millions of eager women to fantasize about EXACTLY such a relationship. 6. Horror of horrors, he's now back to going to stores in hopes of finding a woman for long-term friendship and, presumably, sex - lock him up! “This fellow is clearly the most dangerous sexual predator since Ted Bundy, and I'm surprised your reader hasn't notified the FBI. I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN none of your female readers would EVER desire a long-term, friendly relationship with a man, that eventually involved sex!” So, that is both sides of the senior sexual predator story. Who is right? Who is wrong? I can't really say. She hung in there for six months--it couldn't have been too terribly bad. As for him, he preferred women several years older than himself. If that was his cup of tea, it doesn't seem so bad after all. Oh my, the challenges of senior relationship and the challenges of senior dating.
It is like the "Dangerous Curves" sign in Puerto Vallarta. Be careful which side of the story you are on. Either way, senior sex can be a slippery slope or dangerous territory.
